Mercy for the
Undesirables
Unwed Mothers in Today’s Apostolic Church
By Joy Roscoe
April 15, 2002
At a recent Apostolic Ladies Retreat, a speaker told of an unwed pregnant teenager at her church who was told she could not sit with the other young people and "be a hero of sin.” Her only seating option was the "very back pew.” The pregnant teenager left and never came back.
The
woman stood before Jesus, brought by religious leaders for His judgment upon
her. She had been caught in adultery
and those surrounding her clamored for condemnation.
Instead,
Jesus did the unexpected. He began
to write in the sand at their feet. One
by one her accusers turned and left. Throughout the ages there has been
conjecture about just what Jesus was writing, but most agree he was identifying
sins of which her accusers may have been guilty.
When the woman told Jesus her accusers had gone, He responded “Go
and sin no more” (John
8:11
).
Why is it that
when an Apostolic is “caught” in a compromising¾especially
sexual¾
situation, we suddenly lose our perspective on forgiveness and shun them,
gossip, and show something less than God’s love for our brother or sister?
It seems that we view sexual sin in a completely different light than
other biblical sins and allow the full force of our righteous indignation to be
seen.
For the unwed
mother in our midst, this is especially painful.
Very soon, her “sin” will become evident to all who know her.
Her reputation (not to mention Christian witness) is in ruins, and she
wonders how soon her friends and family will desert her.
What will her pastor do? How
will she face those in church who heard her sing last week, or complimented her
on the way she cared for the babies in the nursery?
Imagine the
horror she felt when the nurse said, “Congratulations, you’re going to be a
mother!” This soon-to-be mother
feels anything but joy in the fact she is part of the wonderful miracle of life.
She feels shock, horror, and despair, helplessly wondering,
“Where will I turn for help?” When
she needs the support and caring attention of those around her, this mother will
probably be denied the very thing she needs most¾love.
An
unwed pregnant woman faces decisions and heartbreaks few of us know or can begin
to understand. While abortion cannot
be an option for any God-fearing mother, adoption is sometimes the only viable
option. Yet what mother longs to
give her child up to be raised by someone else?
Will they love the baby like she would?
Will they treat the child with respect and dignity as it grows older?
If
she keeps the baby, she is faced with the uncertainty and fear of being able to
care for herself and her child. Will
there be enough money? Will she be
able to finish school and get a job that enables her to meet their needs?
How will she get everything done alone?
Of
course, there is no scriptural basis for condoning unrepentant sinful behavior.
And, where there is no repentance, there can be no forgiveness.
Yet where there is repentance, Jesus very clearly told us to “show
mercy so that you will receive mercy” (Matthew
18:35
).
Our only right is to be a fruit inspector, not judge and jury.
Can we treat those unwed and pregnant any differently than another
brother or sister who has fallen into sin? Jesus
admonishes us, “But go and learn what
this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’
For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners” (Matthew
9:13
).
Eugene
Peterson paraphrases part of the Sermon on the Mount this way, “Don’t
pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of
course, you want the same treatment. That
critical spirit has a way of boomeranging” (Matthew 7:1)1.
“In prayer there is a connection
between what God does and what you do. You
can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.
If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part”
(Matthew
6:14
-15)2.
What is our
part? In a world where temptation is
rampant, most of us¾like
the biblical accusers¾have
become quite adept at hiding our own sins. Whether
it be a socially acceptable addiction (i.e., food, caffeine, credit cards or
entertainment), pride, or privately surfing sexually explicit web sites, we each
have sin(s) that confront us daily. Can
we stand before God in self-righteousness? I
think not. Rather, a posture of
humility and thankfulness for His grace is our only option before the throne of
God. And with that comes mercy for
our fellow man.
There
is an interesting side story in the eighth chapter of John.
Scripture indicates the Pharisees were setting a trap for Jesus, for
Mosaic law demanded that both the man and woman be stoned for their adulterous
behavior. Yet, nowhere is the man
mentioned and some commentators believe that the adulterous man was allowed to
escape. We must hold the father to
the same standard as the mother. Simply
because his sin is not “evident,” does he escape the consequences?
God forbid.
I would submit, as his repentance and
responsibility becomes evident, he is entitled to grace and mercy.
A
great degree of grace and love is demanded
of us when faced with unwed pregnancies in our churches.
When we shun an unwed pregnant woman, we are also shunning an innocent
child¾a
child whose birth was not an accident of nature, but a miracle from God.
Are we prepared to force this woman and her child out of a place where
God dwells, into the darkness, alone? What
an opportunity to show the love of God! Who
knows the destiny of that mother and child?
In
pondering our responsibility in this situation, I wonder how Jesus would treat
those unwed and pregnant? For you
see, the mother who was refused a room in the inn, the one who laid her child in
a manger and heard the angels rejoice, had also been an unwed pregnant teenager.
ninetyandnine.com
ã
2002,
Joy Roscoe
--------
Joy
Roscoe
lives and attends church in the rural
Midwest
.
She daily commutes to the big city so her son can eat and have the latest
electronic toys.
1.
Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE.
2.
Ibid.
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