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August 25, 2003 Thanks to all of you who write in and especially to those who submit articles. We love to hear how God is moving in your world! So if you have a devotion to challenge, news worth covering, a testimony to share, or a book or CD worth reviewing, don’t hesitate to type it up. 90&9.com can’t survive without your penned thoughts. God does move, convict, and draw through the words that others have written about His mercy, His goodness, His love and compassion for all of us. Check us out each Monday, when we’re always updated and fresh. And don’t forget to check the archives, which are also rich with blessing.
RE: Mercy for the Undesirables: Unwed Mothers in the Church I read this article with interest, as I am an unwed mother of a three-year old daughter. Here is my story: I was raised in the church and backslid when I was nineteen. After five months of heavily indulging in everything I felt I had been denied all my life, I found out I was pregnant. It simply was not in me to raise a child in a world that by now I knew from experience was empty of all but wickedness and heartache, so that very weekend I begged the forgiveness of my family and pastor, moved back home, and returned to church. As the Bible makes it clear that all children are a gift from God, not just consequences of the reproductive act, I firmly believe that my daughter was God's own personal gift to me. I am still amazed and in awe that even though I was so far from God, He bridged the distance to me and did what it took to bring me back to Him. To this day, I can say that I have never looked back. I say that not because I am so spiritual, but because this world pales in comparison in the light of God's individual love for me. I have to say that I never heard or perceived any harsh criticism or judgmental words from anyone in my church. From the beginning, I knew nothing but love and support, even from people I don't know as well, as our church is large (400+ people). In fact, it was those people I didn't know as well who went out of their way to show their love for me, and today, their love for my daughter as well in the form of hugs, encouraging words, small gifts and even financial support. I am so blessed to have a church to whom it has been stressed the need for unity and love among the brethren. If anyone was saying unkind things behind my back, I never knew it. I was not allowed to have a church-sponsored baby shower, as the church didn't want to confuse the younger children and didn't want to seem to be sanctioning my sin. However, with the permission of my pastor's wife, one of the saints I considered to be one of our church's most ‘rigid’ threw me a baby shower. Today I have come to know her as one of the truest Christians I know. For a time, my youth group rallied around my child and me and was a source of tremendous encouragement and strength. They told me how ‘cute’ I looked pregnant, admired the baby names I had picked out, and made sure I laughed often. That youth group is gone today because all but one or two have gotten married or left the church. Another youth group has taken their place in the church, and although I love and appreciate them all, I don't feel a part of them, as they are of a younger generation. (Their average ages are 14-15, while I will be 23 in two months.) That is partly where my struggle lies, as I feel neither part of the youth group, nor -- because of my unmarried state -- part of the young married couples, who are the same age as me. So my prayer is that I can be a blessing and an asset to the church in a more general way. Another, much larger, struggle I'm facing as well right now is due to my mother caring for my daughter while I'm at work and school. My daughter has grown much closer to my mother than me, and as a result, visibly prefers my mother over me. It hurts to see that, although I understand the reasons why. Another problem is that my mother disagrees with me on the way my daughter should be raised and disciplined. This has created untold conflict, bitterness, and hostility not only between my mother and me, but in our entire household as well. My daughter has very obvious behavior problems and I am constantly agonizing as to whether or not it's because she's had such unique raising, answering to two authorities who are not united in their opinions of how children should be raised. (For example, I am a firmer disciplinarian than my mother and my daughter knows that if I discipline her, she can always run to my mother for comfort, and often a reversal of the punishments I have laid down.) I am saving money right now to buy the two of us a house, but on my paltry salary, it'll be probably a year or more before I have enough funds together. I'm praying that God will open up a door somehow for us to get out of such an undesirable situation. At the same time, I'm praying for His will and His perfect timing. It's easy to feel sometimes that God has forgotten about me, so I am constantly reminding myself to have faith and patience. Several sermons preached of late have also reminded of that. In my flesh, I am hoping that it's God's will for me to marry. I so do not want to raise such a difficult child alone! Although I have dated many nice men in the four years since returning to church, I have yet to meet the one God has picked out for me. And just recently I feel the call of God to minister in some way to young single adults in such a way to prevent them from facing the struggles I've faced by being faithless and impure. I don't know in what capacity God wants me to do this, but I am studying all I can get my hands on to be fully equipped to minister effectively as soon as God opens the door. So it has been a struggle I would not recommend to anybody, but it has been a joy, for my daughter is truly the sunshine in my life. Most of all I have seen God's glory at work, and for that, and for the gift of my daughter, I am very thankful. I may have needs in my life, but no complaints. God is good; I am blessed. Wendy Scoggins, Texas
RE: Singles Breakaway to Swingin' London One of my friends sent me the archived article on the London Singles Break-a-Way. She wanted to know if that was the same trip that I went on -- it was. Good job on the article; I really think it brought out the best highlights of the trip. I, too, have made life-long friends. I can't wait for the 2005 cruise...if I am still single! Heather A. Dobbs, Texas
I just toured your web site and really, really enjoyed it. It is a plus for our modern Pentecostal movement today. Keep up the good work! Jim White, Arkansas
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