|
Print
Sustained!
God’s Will about Day Care: Don’t presume it is the same for everyone
By Leann Guzman
January 31, 2005
Tune in to Christian radio or read just
about anything in Christian media, and you will find that the general message is
that it is God’s will for mothers to stay home with their children so that
someone else doesn’t raise them. (My college English professor would say that
cows and chickens are “raised” and children are “reared,” but here in Texas no
one actually uses “reared” in conversation.)
For example, not long ago Jonathan and I
attended a Christian marriage conference where we broke out into separate
sessions to discuss wives/mothers and husbands/fathers. When it came to the
mother portion of the seminar, the speaker asked how many of us worked outside
of the home. About 75 percent of the women raised their hands. The speaker
proceeded to tell us that while she understood that some of us might have to
work, it was a good thing and a godly thing to stay home with our children and
to try to find a way to do it. And the rest of her talk was geared toward
stay-at-home mothers.
This experience was followed up by a
discussion with an older Apostolic lady whom I highly respect for her insight
and wisdom into life and spiritual things. She, too, was a working mother, and
so I was sharing with her my belief that, despite all the messages the media
says to the contrary, I believed I was in the will of God given the
circumstances that had led to my returning to work. I was surprised to hear her
say to me that I was wrong and that it is always God’s will for mothers to be
home with their children.
My Life, God’s Will
I have now been a working mother for 10
months. At first it was very difficult to hear these messages because my
heart’s greatest desire is to follow after God’s will for my life. And not far
behind that desire is to be a stay-at-home mother. So was I not in the will of
God?
What about the difference between God’s
perfect will and God’s permissive will? If God’s perfect will is for mothers to
be at home with their children, had I done something wrong to get out of His
perfect will and was I now residing in the sub-par level of His permissive
will? If so, what had I done wrong?
I still don’t have the answers to all these
questions. Maybe I am in His permissive will rather than His perfect will. But
after much prayer and discussion with my husband, I am still convinced beyond a
shadow of a doubt that for this moment in time I am where God wants me to be and
that my daughter Olivia is where God wants her to be. The circumstances that
led up to my returning to work when Olivia was six months old were so clearly
orchestrated by God that there is no doubt that He wants us where we are.
Is It All Black and White?
Dr. William Sears is a child development
expert who has published many books on the subject of child rearing. His
teachings are biblically based, and I agree with much of what he teaches (with
the exception that he does not believe in spanking). He wrote a great
introduction to his
article, “And the Bible Sayeth, Train up a Child in the Way He Should Go,”
in Mothering Magazine. In it he points out that the Bible does not lay
out specific how-to language when it comes to raising your children. He also
states the simple truth that God’s plan for your life is not the same as His
plan for your neighbor’s life.
Every Christian would agree with his latter
statement, but I believe many have difficulty in applying it to the issue of
working mothers versus stay-at-home mothers. With so much evidence of how much
better it is for children to be at home with their mothers, how could God’s plan
be anything other than what studies have shown to be best for the child?
When that question is written in
black-and-white, it looks ridiculous. No man-made, human-conducted study can
tell you what is best for your child over what God tells you is best. Since
before Olivia was even born, I have felt so strongly in my spirit that God has a
plan for Olivia to use her in a mighty way for His kingdom. Only He knows what
is best for her in order to accomplish His plan. For whatever reason, this plan
includes my going to work and Olivia staying with her day care provider each
workday.
I don’t presume to know why He has worked
things out this way. All I can tell you is that it is what He wants for us. I
pray that it won’t always be this way and that I will be able to be a
stay-at-home mom at some point very soon. But in the meantime “I have
learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philippians
4:11b).
Request
If you are a mother who works outside of the
home, I would love to hear from you how you maximize your time with your
children and how you make sure that time with them is spent wisely. In a future
column, I will be addressing this issue and will be happy to include some of
your suggestions, so please email me.
ninetyandnine.com
© 2005, Leeann
Guzman
----------
Leann Guzman is
ninetyandnine.com’s “Family / Work Issues” columnist. If you have
suggestions on topics to explore, email her at
Family@ninetyandnine.com. Leeann is wife to Jonathan and mother to
Olivia, and she lives and goes to church in North Texas. She is a licensed
attorney who works as a municipal court prosecutor. Although fluent in English
and Legalese, the meaning of the term “spare time” escapes her.
| 
