June 13, 2005 - Sustained! Spiritual CEO: Stepping Up to Be the Leader in Your Home

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Sustained!
Spiritual CEO: Stepping Up to Be the Leader in Your Home
By Jonathan & Leann Guzman
June 13, 2005

(Columnist’s Note: Christian men know that God has charged them with the responsibility of being the spiritual leader of their home. But what is lacking for so many men is any direction or training in how to fulfill this vital role that God has given them. Some men didn’t grow up with fathers who attended church; some men’s fathers attended church, but didn’t properly lead them in spiritual matters; still others may have been led so well by their fathers that they don’t know if they can do it themselves.

In honor of Father’s Day, I enlisted the help of my husband, Jonathan, to write a column about things a man should know about becoming the spiritual priest, or CEO as we would say today, of his household. The following thoughts are from him.)

You are Equipped
Perhaps the first thing a man should know about spiritually leading his home is that even if you don’t think you can do it, remember that the Lord equips you for every task He gives you. This principle doesn’t suddenly change in the area of spiritual leadership. The Lord has given you what is necessary for you to lead your family because it is what He wants you to do.

Often the fear of failure will paralyze men from taking a leadership role. They are afraid of what will happen if they don’t do exactly the right thing. But the reality is you won’t always do the right thing, and neither will anyone else. Mistakes aren’t the end of the world because a lot more is learned from a person who gets up after failing than one who stays down or one who never even tries in the first place. Through your mistakes, you are teaching your family valuable lessons about walking in faith.

Follow-Through is Key
Many times it is just easier to allow your wife to be the driving force in religious matters. When my wife and I got married, I felt that she had more experience than I did in spiritual leadership because she had been in leadership roles within our church. But, as time passed, I came to realize that allowing her to take charge in the spiritual matters of our home was nothing more than laziness on my part. She wanted me to be the leader, I wanted to be the leader, God definitely wanted me to be the leader, and the only thing stopping this from happening was my unwillingness to step up and take my place.

The Lord taught me that it is just a matter of willpower and, especially, following through with what you know you are supposed to do. Never forget that you have the responsibility not just for your own spiritual health, but also for your family’s. Sometimes it is easier to step up to the plate when you know others are depending on you.

When you hear that you are the spiritual leader of your household, it sounds so serious and complicated and weighty. I’m not saying it’s not. But it is also quite simple—being the spiritual leader of your home is doing what you know is right in front of your family as an example, and encouraging them to do the same.

Sources of Guidance
If you want or need guidance about particular matters concerning spiritual leadership, put yourself in a position to receive guidance. Physically be at church and get your family to church. Be receptive and willing to hear guidance from whatever source God uses to give it to you.

God will teach you about leadership from many different sources. Sometimes His guidance is through examples of spiritual leadership, like the way your pastor leads the church or the way the elders lead their families. Although this can be a great way to learn how to lead your own family spiritually, don’t look exclusively to people as the ultimate example because people are flawed. Look to Jesus as your chief example. Jesus led by servant leadership, serving others as He led them, putting their needs before His own. Paul tells husbands to “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus is the ultimate example for how we should lead our families.

If you aren’t sure whether you are doing something right, chances are you just need to be encouraged. Pray for God to send you a word. Go to His Word and check yourself against what He has said there. Every answer is set forth there and His Word is absolute.

You Can Do It!
God has given the responsibility to the man to be the spiritual leader of the family. So whether you lead your family spiritually or not, you are ultimately responsible. This job is not one you can delegate to anyone else in the world. But there is a reason: You are the one He equipped to do the job; not your wife, not your children, not your pastor, but you. And because of that, you can rest in the knowledge that you can do it because He says so.

ninetyandnine.com

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Leann Guzman is ninetyandnine.com’s “Family / Work Issues” columnist. If you have suggestions on topics to explore, email her at Family@ninetyandnine.com.