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Sustained!
Breaking News - Prayer Strengthens Marriages!
By Leann Guzman
September 12, 2005

One Wednesday night about five years ago at Pastor Rex Johnson’s church in Austin, Texas, my husband and I, newlyweds of two years, sat in a Young Married’s class.  Bill and Jane came to our class to speak to us on the topic of prayer in marriage (Bill and Jane are not their real names, not to protect them, but because it’s been five years, two churches and two cities ago since that night, and I’m not sure I remember their real names correctly any more).

Bill was a recovering alcoholic who was not raised in an Apostolic church, or any church for that matter, but who had found this church because his AA meetings were held across the street.  Jane was born and raised Apostolic and had never strayed.  They met at this church, fell in love, and were married a short time later.  And because they were Apostolic and were filled with the Holy Ghost, they never had any marital problems, their differences never challenged them, and they lived happily ever after, just like all of our marriages.

Yeah, right.  OK, now the real story.  It didn’t take long for their differences to begin shredding their marriage.  They fought.  They disagreed on just about everything.  They got to the point where they said they’d never be, and where neither one wanted to be, and were contemplating divorce because they couldn’t stand to live like that anymore.  Then they made a decision that changed everything.  Bill and Jane decided that if their marriage had any hope of survival, they had to put God first, in His rightful place, and live their life to prove it.  They decided the best way to do that was to pray and read their Bible together twice every day, morning and night.  This plan was drastic, and they told the class that they didn’t recommend that for everyone, that once a day is enough for most, but with the state of their marriage, they had to pray together twice a day.

Uh-Hum! Apostolics Don’t Read Prayers!
Bill and Jane were in such a difficult place that they even strongly disagreed on how to pray.  When they sat down to pray the first time, Bill opened up his AA book of written prayers and began reading.

“What are you doing?”  Jane asked.

“Praying,” Bill replied.

Well, being raised Apostolic, this was not prayer to Jane.  Prayer was being on your knees, crying, snot flowing freely, and preferably you were speaking in tongues.  Prayer certainly wasn’t reading.

Bill tried to compromise.  “Let’s write down the things we want to praise God for and the things we want to ask Him for, and we’ll read that instead of this book.  It’ll be more personal.”

Jane told him it wasn’t going to work, but she would give it a try.  So every morning and every night, they prayed by reading their praises and their requests to God.  Then, an interesting thing happened.  Their marriage began to improve.  And, to Jane’s surprise, their prayers began to be answered.  Not just a few of them, but virtually all of them.

Three years later, as Bill and Jane stood in front of our class, their marriage was still together.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was vastly improved.  They still prayed and read their Bible twice a day, and they had testimony-after-faith-building testimony of what God had done in answer to their simple prayers they read to Him twice a day.

And the Moral Is..?
So do you think this story was just a fluke?  Not me.  Dennis Rainey of Family Life today says you can’t overpromise about what can happen in a marriage when you and your spouse commit to praying together and following through.

In their book Two Hearts Praying as One, Dennis, with his wife Barbara, writes:

Prayer together may be the single most important spiritual discipline you and your spouse will ever share.  Here’s why.  Are you lacking intimacy in your marriage?  Praying together will take you to new levels of intimacy far beyond what you ever thought possible.  Is there conflict in your marriage?  Praying together will diffuse, disarm, resolve and prevent disagreements.  Do you want more transparency in your marriage?  Praying together is certain to open your hearts to one another. . . . Are you fearful?  Disappointed? Discouraged?  Worried? Angry?  Hopeless?  Praying together will calm the storms in your heart, your marriage, and your family.  Are you struggling against sin?  Praying together as a couple exposes sin so God can work.  Are you near divorce?  Praying as a couple restores unity of heart, mind and purpose.

This truth was lived out in Bill and Jane’s life, and it can be in yours, too.  Make the commitment today to pray together once a day for the next 28 days, and see at the end what a difference it has made in your life personally and in your marriage.  If you forget a day, or can’t do it a day, start right back up at the next opportunity.  I guarantee you’ll want to keep going after 28 days.

ninetyandnine.com

© 2005, Leann Guzman

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Leann Guzman is ninetyandnine.com’s “Family / Work Issues” columnist. If you have suggestions on topics to explore, email her at Family@ninetyandnine.com.