January 2, 2006 - APOSTOLIC ≠ SNAKE HANDLER

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APOSTOLIC ≠ SNAKE HANDLER
By Leann Guzman
January 2, 2006

All Apostolics will have it happen at one time or another. If you regularly tell people who are not of our faith what type of church you attend, someone will mention it to you eventually. You know what I’m talking about. No? Let me give you a hint: snakes.

The other day it happened to me at work -- the good ol’ snake reference. My sort-of-Baptist coworker, upon my invitation to him and his wife to attend our annual choir Christmas concert, asked (and after saying no, I might add), "Should I bring my own snake, or do y'all provide them?"

Let me stop here and say that I am pretty good at the snappy comeback. Sometimes, I suspect that people at work, this coworker included, give me a hard time just to see what I’ll say in return. Well, unfortunately, on this particular day I was exhausted from being up with my daughter for three and a half hours in the middle of the night, and my snappy comeback creator was fast asleep in my brain.

Usually, I don’t even have to think about it; something just always leaps to mind. But that day, there was absolutely nothing. It was like you could hear crickets chirping, I was so brain dead. Most working parents of small children can identify with this feeling when it seems all non-essential brain functions have ceased to operate so that you can put all your energy into what are normally involuntary actions like breathing and blood flow.

I told him, “You know what, I’m so tired I can’t even think of anything to say to that.”

However, three hours later my snappy comeback creator awoke and I thought to say to him, "You know, that might actually be a little humorous if it wasn't the 800th time I've heard that." Or this one, “Does it look like we live in the Appalachian Mountains?” Alas, three hours is entirely too late to offer a comeback.

Other Snappy Comebacks
The comment bothered me so much, though, that I put the incident on my blog to see what response it would get.

One person (who is not in church), offered this reply: “I don’t handle snakes, but I do handle (insert biblical word for donkey here).” Hmmmm, I’ll admit I was so mad about the comment that sounds like it would be very satisfying to say. But it probably doesn’t fall under the category of WWJD.

Another friend said, “Pretty rude of that guy to think we would trust him with one of our snakes.” Oohhh that would have been good.

One guy said he works with Baptists, and they all give each other a hard time about their religious differences. They tease him about snakes, and he teases them they can't clap or raise their hands, or pray out loud when someone else is praying. Which, he said, “I almost think that's worse.” Well, of course it is!

David and Jesus Got Mad, Too
Snappy comebacks aside, this incident bothered me. And I couldn’t put my finger on why. It certainly wasn’t the first time I had experienced negative comments about my religion. And I knew that this guy was giving me a hard time and didn’t really think we handled snakes. But still, I stewed about it for days.

Then, a few days after this incident, I was reading in Psalms when I ran across this verse: For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me (Psalms 69:9). My study Bible interpreted this verse to say that David had such passion for the house of God that when someone reproached it, or insulted it, those comments would infuriate him.

I studied a little further and found that this verse in Psalms is the verse Jesus quoted when He cleansed the temple. His passion for the temple caused Him to react vehemently to what He saw going on there. Having zeal for the house of God definitely falls under the category of WWJD.

My spirit awoke within me, and I realized that’s why the comment bothered me so much. I love the house of God. I am passionate about Him. My worship for Him is exuberant, I’ll certainly admit to that. But when I think of what He’s done for me and who He is, a little lifting of my hand in praise seems like an understatement.

The Best Response
So, what I really should have said to my coworker is this, “There are no snakes at my church (and you know that) but what you will find are people who are passionate about their God and excited about the opportunity to worship Him. I know you’re a believer, and I just wanted to give you the opportunity to come and give Him what He deserves as your Savior who died on the cross for your sins—your unsolicited and unreserved praise.”

Now if I can just remember all that for next time someone says something like that to me. Maybe I should write it down in case I’m too tired that day to remember. Of course, it would be awfully awkward to say, “Hold on, I have a great response to that in my purse. Give me just a minute to find it.” But hey, that’s still a better response time than three hours.

ninetyandnine.com

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Leann Guzman is ninetyandnine.com’s “Family / Work Issues” columnist. If you have suggestions on topics to explore, email her at Family@ninetyandnine.com.