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The Tale of the Ugly Fence November 19, 2007
By Nita Curry It was beautiful. Everyone who came to our house commented on how nice the back of our subdivision was. About 15 homes backed up to each other, creating a large expansive backyard for all of us. The nice part was we only had a portion of which we were responsible for. As the houses were completed and people began moving in, the first question people would ask is, “You aren’t going to put a fence up, are you?”
It was an unspoken rule among all of us to leave it natural. The small-town feel of the backyards all converting into one large yard encouraged the mingling of one neighbor with the other. Children felt the freedom to play on our playset anytime they felt like it. And we would slip our heads out of the door and quietly say, “Hello, how are you today?” It was lovely and we loved it.
Two and a half years into living in our new house, one of our neighbors told us that they would be moving. Fear crept into my heart wondering what type of neighbors would replace them—would they be nice and friendly, would they keep their house nice? All the while it never entered my head that they just might do the unforgivable—build a fence in their backyard.
Unbelievable! It took them less than a month. On a beautiful Saturday morning I woke up and glanced outside—to be stopped in my tracks. There standing out amongst all the beautiful green was a white “privacy” fence. I was sick. My son was sick. My husband was sick. Even the neighbor across the street who it didn’t affect at all was sick. Another neighbor said, “It sticks out like a sore thumb.” It did.
We all agreed that if they had to get a fence, then why didn’t they get one that wasn’t so obvious—one with slats, or at least not so tall. It just seemed to say, “Leave us alone; we don’t want you to be in our yard or us in yours.” Struggling with the unsightly view, I began to grasp at how I could deal with this. At one point it entered my mind, “Well, the neighborhood’s ruined, so maybe we should just move.”
Then I realized that maybe, just maybe, I could find some spiritual application to this neighborhood problem. So, I thought and I thought. Nothing came. Then I realized that I was allowing this fence to completely cloud my judgment of them as people. I didn’t want to get to know them any longer; after all, they are the ones who built the fence!
Then it hit me. Isn’t this how we sometimes treat new converts? We welcome them at first with open arms, welcoming them, trying our hardest to make sure that they receive as positive an experience as possible. Yet then the fences begin to be built. It might be that they are building a fence from personal habits or it might be that we are building the fence of the same, but subconsciously we’re saying, “Leave me alone. I’m not interested in getting to know you anymore. Or, you may only come when I explicitly invite you.”
Twisting the Intent The result is that what God intended as an open, loving relationship with each other to be shared is now sectioned off in a conspicuous way. Regardless of whether or not words are spoken, the feeling of “the fence” is felt and it causes us to judge each other without regularly giving each other a chance. How many times have I subconsciously kept myself from cultivating a relationship because of a fence that I have built? How many times have I not knocked on the gate and asked to come in because I felt that they didn’t want me in or didn’t deserve my presence?
The reality is the neighbors wanted to protect their dog. I still think they should have gotten an electric fence, or at least a less obvious eyesore, but it’s taught me that regardless of whether or not I “like” what they did, or how they did it, they are still people who need a smile, a hello, but mostly Jesus. The fence might be clouding the beauty of our yards, but I won’t let it cloud the love of Jesus that everyone should be seeing from our end of the subdivision.
“And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:31).
ninetyandnine.com
© 2007, Nita K. Curry
--------- Nita K. Curry is the letters editor for ninetyandnine.com.
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