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Valentines 2008: A Great Day and a Great Year to be Single February 11, 2008 by Rachael Hartman
I just read an old "survey sez" 90&9 response to a The Big Question: "Are Pentecostal guys too intimidated to ask out Pentecostal girls with a college degree?"
The overwhelming majority answered yes.
Wow that really helps inspire me to write this year's blog about still being single on Valentine's Day!
But seriously, here I am 24 years old, a single Apostolic female who is busy, busy, busy with college, beginning a career and yes still waiting on the right guy... After reading something like that survey, what am I supposed to think about it?
Well, I must say that even if Apostolic guys are intimidated by Apostolic girls with accredited college degrees, it is still worth it!
Now I'll admit, my heart isn't in on what I just said. But my mind surely is! And what is it that all those Apostolic preachers taught me when I was a kid? It is about a made up mind!
Am I a better person now that I have a college degree? Not necessarily. But because of my secular college experience, I know that I can keep a commitment and give it my all, even when I'm under tremendous stress. I know about having a made up mind. I'm committed to getting a secular education in order to give back to God.
I actually never wanted to go to secular college. I didn't think it was for me. I hated school until I went to Bible College; it was Bible College that helped me to see how much I love learning and inspired me to go to secular college!
But this isn't supposed to be another pro-education rant... It is supposed to be about still being single on Valentine's Day 2008.
Let me tell you, I'm not just single. I'm isolated. God put me right in the middle of home missions three years ago, which makes five years - yes five years - of me not "talking" to any guy. (And I mean "talking" the way that 14-year-old, on-fire Apostolics mean it.)
Girls, I don't even have a girl-buddy to shop with, and you know how we need that!
If you've been with me in this single adventure for the past couple of years and read my last 90&9 Single on Valentine's Day blog (2006), you will know that I'm an advocate of celebrating Valentines Day.
I believe that everyone should celebrate it! Buy your siblings and Sunday school kids Valentines gifts - make it special just for them.
Flower shops always need extra (paid) help on Valentines Day. Deliver flowers and see the smiles you bring to people (and it keeps you super busy!).
Pick a friend and buy Valentine's funny gag gifts for them all week long.
Buy roses for the single ladies you work with.
For goodness sakes girls, buy roses for yourself! It's great therapy to see those beautiful flowers there in your room, and for no reason except that you know you are worthy enough to have some flowers on your dresser.
My married sister bought me a rose this year for Valentine's Day. Yeah it was early... It is made of cloth and says I love you all over it. I put it in the dashboard of my car - it wards off all those single guys that I drive past. ;)
You may be reading this thinking, "Yeah this girl is crazy. She doesn't know what I'm feeling. She doesn't know the loneliness, the pain, the desire that I have. She is giving practical advice that might take the sting out of Valentine's Day for people who don't really know what Valentine's is all about. It won't work for me."
Can I be honest? Sometimes everything I've said doesn't work. Sometimes the pain is too great and the isolation too much for simple actions and a positive attitude to take it away. Sometimes it doesn't even work for me.
But there is something that does work. Prayer. Dreaming. And Knowing that I'm not stuck in a relationship that is a dead-end. Knowing that I'm free to find something someday with someone that is right, that is real, and that is for life. It is that wide-open freedom that is liberating from the pain.
As single Apostolics we can do anything, go anywhere, and become anyone that God wants us to be. We have no limits.
We can exercise until we are happy with our bodies. We can learn until we fully respect ourselves. We can save until we have enough money to go and do. We can step out and live our greatest dreams.
And we can do all of that whole. We aren't heart-broken. We aren't committed to seeing another's dreams come to pass. We aren't changing diapers (praise God... future husband, I have a weak stomach, you'll be my hero, thank-you).
We are free. Free to someday trade in our freedom for a new kind of freedom. But for now, free to live fully in it. Today.
I think the greatest thing about being single in 2008 is knowing in my heart and mind that I am strong enough to make it through life single. That means I don't have to fear death, divorce, or worse. I pray those things don't happen to me, but if they do, I know that with God I will still have a good and happy life here on earth.
Marriage is no longer the end-all, and I haven't had to experience it to find that out. That is what is wonderful about being single in 2008. I'm whole. And it is so refreshing.
nnetyandnine.com
© 2008, Rachel Hartman
----- Rachael Hartman is a Senior majoring in Liberal Studies with a Minor in Writing. She attends New Life Sanctuary in Bloomingdale, Georgia, pastored by her father J.S. Hartman. She enjoys wearing bright colors, walking her dogs Charlie and Gretchen, making specialty coffee drinks, drinking hot tea and dreaming for the future. |
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